Medda's Revenge: Who's the Disney 'IT' Girl?
by ShoeGoil
Summary: Medda Larkson's wrath with Disney's High School Musical leads to a crossmovie romp, costarring Denton, Sharpay, Ryan, and special guest stars Annette and Frankie from Beach Party


_Who's _the Disney 'IT' girl? By ShoeGoil 

Medda Larkson blew her nose and dabbed at her mascara-blackened eyes. She was glad she lived alone because she was sure she looked a frightful mess. She couldn't help it, though. Watching that movie, "High School Musical," always did it to her. And that horrid Disney Channel just insisted on playing that movie over and over.

Medda got up from the couch, her feathery magenta lounge robe trailing along the floor, her bare feet sticking and slapping on the wooden floor of her living room. She plopped down in front of her iMac to check her email.

And of course she got more hate mail. Everyone hated Medda Larkson, the Swedish Meadowlark. "Medda, you are old and ugly." "Medda, you have hideous clothes." "Medda, even my grandpa thinks you're horrifyingly grotesque." "Medda, why did you kill a chinchilla, give it a perm, dye it bright orange, and stick it on your head?" Sometimes Medda read these emails in an impassioned rage and wrote well-versed hate mail right back. But tonight, she read the letters listlessly. It was so hard being hated.

Thinking about being hated brought her back to thinking about "High School Musical" and the dear girl she loved like a shepherd loves a little lost lamb. Sharpay. Dear, dear Sharpay Evans. Every time she watched the movie, she was shocked in the end to see Sharpay's dreams snatched away by that cheeky Gabriella, who had no business being in show business. Every time she watched that movie, she wished there was something she could do to help little Sharpay.

Medda picked up the receiver of her pink princess phone and dialed her friend, Mr. Bryan Denton.

"Bryan Denton, Ace War Correspondent," answered a drawling voice.

"Oh, Mr. Denton. It is Miss Larkson," Medda said into the phone in a slightly hysterical manner. "Did you just vatch it?" She spoke in her Svedish Meadowlark accent.

There was a short silence on the phone, and then a sniffle. "Yes...yes I did, Miss Larkson." He was silent again for a moment, then added, "You okay? You need me to come over there?"

Medda nodded dumbly, not saying anything.

"Okay, I'll see you in a few," he responded.

Medda put the receiver back down and stood up. She straightened her fluffy robe, slipped her feathery mule slippers back on and patted the back of her hair before the next second when there was a knock on her apartment door.

"Come in!" she called, and Denton opened the door, shutting it and locking it behind him.

"Oh, Denton!" she cried out, then ran into his arms, sobbing on his shoulder. "Vat is the use! All this hate mail, and this poor girl, and vat's the use of talent?" Denton patted her back, a small tear glistening in his own eye.

As he was comforting her, his eyes wandered to gaze at Medda's gallery, where nineteen picture frames of various sizes graced the mantle and the wall above her fireplace. A large gilt frame in the center housed the picture of Medda's favorite, the Cowboy, Denton noted, while a smaller, mahogany frame housed the picture of his favorite, the Walking Mouth. Medda, finally comforted, noticed where Denton was looking, and smiled, pulling away from him and walking toward her unofficial shrine.

"My boys," she murmured. "All so unique and special."

"Isn't there one missing?" Denton asked, looking for the infamous Spot Conlon.

"Oh, that one? He frequvents the shows of Theresa Dakota, that Native American Pterodactyl," she said with a brush of her hand. "I don't like boys who are liking the competition."

Medda started to walk listlessly back over to where her computer sat. "Vat are ve to do, Denton? These girls, they hate me."

"I've got it no better, you believe me. These emails I get…" he started to speak in a high-pitched voice, " 'Denton, what's with your bowties? How many couches have you murdered to support your bowtie habit?' I'll have you know, I do NOT murder couches. I get these bowties on special at Wal-mart!" Remembering the ridiculing made Denton so sad.

"Come, let us vatch the movie again," Medda said, ushering Denton to her sofa, a fuzzy pink and purple one.

"I'll go get the popcorn," she said, heading to the kitchen. After turning on the microwave, she washed off her face and reapplied her mascara, finishing just at the ding of the microwave.

When she got back, she looked suspiciously at the new tie Denton was wearing and the rectangular hole on the side of the sofa, but shook her head, pushing the thought from her mind. He wasn't that fast.

They clicked on the TV just as the next showing of "High School Musical" was starting.

"I just hate that goody-goody girl vith a passion," Medda muttered, gesturing toward the screen as Gabriella sang one of her little pop songs that made Medda's skin crawl. "THEES is the new Disney 'it' girl? Thees…pop singer?"

"Miss Larkson, are you sure you should be watching this? You are getting so upset!" Denton said nervously.

"And this Sharpay girl…she is so veak! She cannot have the hope to get anyvhere! So much talent, yet so blinte!"

"Medda, dear. Please, you're scaring me!" Denton didn't like her vindictive tone.

"That's it, Mr. Denton. Ve vill do something about this movie now!" She stood up, spilling all the popcorn, and grabbing his hand, dragged him into the movie with her.

As they traveled the time-space continuum between real life (or as real life as Medda and Denton living in a posh condo suite in Malibu could be), Medda felt little happy tinglings all over her body. She felt her tummy and thighs tighten, her curls loosen and darken, and even her face wrinkles smoothen. When they landed in the cafeteria at lunchtime at whatever high school it is that "High School Musical" took place (Medda had never paid attention, and frankly, neither did the author of this story), she had retained her former 60s sex kitten glory! She was wearing tight little pants and cute little ballet slippers with an over-sized yet very clingy sweater, reminiscent of her "Bye-Bye Birdie" days. She turned to Denton and gasped.

"Denton! I almost didn't recognize you. You like just like…"

"Just like who, my hunka-hunka burnin' love?" he asked her, causing her to shriek and jump up and down.

"Oh! Elvis! Elvis Presley! I'm so glad to see you!" she yelled. "I think about our time in Vegas all the time!"

"Elvis? No! It's me, Bryan Denton," he insisted, as several of the kids nearby looked on.

"The drama kids belong up there, so get outta my face!" a rough looking skater girl said, so Medda/Ann-Margret grabbed Denton/Elvis' hand and they ran up the steps to join Sharpay and her groupies.

"Who do you think YOU are?" Sharpay asked as Medda and Denton wandered into their clique.

"Your biggest fan!" Medda gushed, instantly fawning over the lovely and blonde Sharpay.

"Oh, well, thank you," she answered, only slightly flattered. "You know my brother, Ryan?"

"Yes! I'm his biggest fan, too!" Medda gushed, reaching for his hand, only to be knocked out of the way by Denton.

"No, I believe I'm his biggest fan. Bryan," he added, reaching out to shake his hand with a slightly goofy grin on his Denton/Elvis face. Ryan and Bryan held hands for a little longer than what would have seemed natural, Medda noted, but she didn't say anything. She led Sharpay over to the edge of the drama-clique's stage-like balcony and looked down at all the little groups of high school students.

"You've come at a good time," Sharpay admitted. "I need all the support I can get."

"Oh? Why?" Medda-Margret asked, knowing why. The call-back auditions were today.

"Oh, these nobodies decided to audition against my brother and me. And they actually tricked Mrs. Montez into giving them a call-back. They aren't drama people. I know they are just trying to ruin the musicale! And my life, of course," Sharpay added.

Perhaps it was Medda-Margret's renewed youth that gave her the courage to do what she did next. Or maybe it was just meeting Sharpay in person and seeing what an absolute moron she was. Either way, Medda-Margret formed a horrific plan in her head, and said, "Sharpay, why don't you and Ryan show me and Bryan your audition? We'd love to see it. I'm sure it's terrif!"

Sharpay agreed. And so Medda-Margret found herself in the auditorium watching the audition of Sharpay and Ryan in person. And found herself sneaking backstage while Denton/Elvis was enjoying the hip action of Ryan and the times-steps of Sharpay. And found herself releasing the curtain, which came crashing down on the singing and dancing siblings, and which she quickly tied around the two of them so that they were like two wiggly rabbits in a giant hunter's burlap sack.

"Let us out!" Sharpay screamed, but Medda-Marget just kicked the trapdoor of the stage, letting the siblings fall below to wait out the rest of the movie.

"Medda! What have you done?" Denton yelled, jumping up out of his auditorium seat. "Are you crazy?"

Medda looked at him coolly from the stage. "I'm not the crazy one. You are. You're so busy being wooed by your little Evans boy that you have completely forgot—"

"Oh no!" Denton murmured. "The Walking Mouth!" Medda nodded her head.

"Now, let's stay focused. We'll finish out this movie, doing a much better job than those Evans whiners could have done. They would have been better than those other losers, but you believe me, you and I will be even better. You and me, kid. We took the 60s by storm, and we can take the millennium too!"

Denton nodded in agreement, deciding now was not the time to remind her that it was Elvis that helped her take the 60s by storm, not him. He shrugged.

Now, because Medda had seen "High School Musical" about twenty-three times, she knew that Sharpay had gotten Mrs. Montez to change the call-back audition to a day and time when Gabriella and Troy weren't going to make it. However, Medda also knew that the Basketball twit and the Brainiac child eventually make it to the audition.

"It's up to us to make our audition better than theirs," Medda explained to Denton as they got dressed in the costumes that those Evans kids were planning to wear. "Now, I was thinking we should just skip the song from that ridiculous musical, and sing 'Lovey Dovey Baby.' What do you think?"

Denton nodded his head excitedly. "That sounds great! And you LOOK great," he added, looking her over. She swatted him.

"You behave! Remember your Walking Mouth!" she said, and Denton ducked his head, again called on for forgetting his one and only.

"Hey, when we get back, promise you won't…uh…tell that hunka hunka burnin' love of mine, okay? About that other kid, I mean," Denton begged Medda-Margret as she was finishing up her hairdo. She smiled at him.

"You know I wouldn't!"

And sooner or later, it was time for them to do their number, and they were supremely awesome. Just imagine Ann-Margret in her 60s sex kitten days singing "Lovey Dovey Baby" with back-ups sung by a "Vive Las Vegas" Elvis and I am sure you get the exact same lovely mental image. Too Cute, right?

After they were done, Mrs. Montez clapped loudly, promising them that they would add that new number into the show if they made the cut (I suppose she's blind…that's why she didn't notice that it wasn't Sharpay and Ryan…). And then she called out the names of Gabriella and Troy.

Medda-Margret crossed her fingers, hoping against hope that they wouldn't make it to the call-backs. It was so close in the movie, maybe something would go wrong and they wouldn't make it, or something. But there was a bustle back stage and two kids came on.

"What?" Medda-Margret shrieked. It wasn't Gabriella and Troy at all. It was Annette Funicello and Frankie Avalon! "Annette! What in the name of hee-haw are you doing on that stage!"

"I'm covering for Gabriella, and Frankie's covering for Troy because they're a little…indisposed right now…" She snickered, looking over her shoulder at what looked like another large burlap sack, wiggling and yelling with more bunnies in it. Frankie hit the trapdoor and the sack joined the other kids already down below.

"Are you ready to do your song, Gabriella and Troy? I am tired of you two fooling around!" Mrs. Montez called from below.

"Sure. Hit it!" Annette yelled, and a rocking 60s beach party song came on. She and Frankie started waving around their hips, singing:

We're surfing all day

And we're swingin' all night.

Vacation is here,

Beach Party tonight!"

"HOLD IT!" Medda-Margret screamed, standing up from her seat in the auditorium, and very rudely interrupting Frankie and Annette. "BEACH Party!" Her mouth hung open in shock. "You can't audition. You are SO not Disney 'it' girl material, Annette!"

Annette stared at Medda-Margret in shock and disgust. "What are you talking about? I was the number one favorite Mouseketeer of teenage boys for YEARS. I was married in my 'Babes in Toyland' dress, for crying out loud!"

"Yes, but you shook your toosh on the screen while in a bikini!" Medda-Margret returned. "Don't you think that ruined your chances?"

"Not in the first 42 'Beach Party' movies! I wore a one-piece. In fact, in 'How to Stuff a Wild Bikini' I didn't even wear a bathing suit because I was pregnant!" Annette proclaimed.

"If you will calmly repeat the name of that movie over again, that will further explain your non-Disneyness. And anyway, how can a Disney poster child be pregnant! That involves something very un-Disney!"

"I was married! At least I didn't spend my young years in movies making out with Elvis Presley, a man whom you very much were not married to!"

"Hey, leave me out of this!" Denton/Elvis said.

"Shuddup, Denton," Medda-Margret muttered, then back to Annette, she said, "Well, maybe my younger years weren't completely clean, and maybe I did sing songs that said, 'Kiss me harder.' But what about that girl from 'The Parent Trap'?"

"Haylee Mills? Even I wasn't that good. Let's not talk about that Girl Scout. Anyway, whatever happened to her? She probably became a veterinarian or something," Annette said.

"No, not that 'Parent Trap.' The new one, with that fiery redhead in it that people are always comparing to me!" Medda-Margret exclaimed. "You know who I'm talking about?"

Annette's eyes were wide-open at the mention of such a girl and she gave a little nod.

"Well you have to admit that I've never been as bad as that girl!"

Annette nodded in agreement. "True. And she started good and turned bad, whereas you started bad and…" she trailed off.

"And turned good!" Medda-Margret finished. "And turned good!"

Annette hemmed and hawed a little. "I wouldn't call your stint as Medda Larkson turning good," she finally said softly. "Let's face it…you seduced young boys."

Medda-Margret's face fell. What could she say? Annette was right. Then she looked back up at her. "Well, you're still not Disney-material, yourself. There's still the bikini thing. And the making out with boys on the beach!" Medda-Margret added, gesturing toward Frankie Avalon, who was still standing there politely.

Then, from behind her, came their answer. "It's the same sun as here. It's the same sun as here. It's the same sun as here." Medda-Margret slowly turned around and found herself face-to-face with none other than Sarah Jacobs.

"It's the same sun as here," she said again, and Medda-Margret nodded slowly, her face pained but not finding a single argument against the new girl.

"She's covered head to toe in frumpy clothes. That's not indecent, like you," she remarked to Annette.

"And she's never kissed a hip-swiveling dude," Annette added, stepping down from the stage, dragging Frankie after her. "She's definitely no floozy, like you."

Medda-Margret sat down in one of the auditorium chairs, while Annette Funicello sat down next to her. "There's no hope for girls like us as long as there's girls like her," Annette muttered.

Medda-Margret nodded unhappily, as Jack Kelly came on from backstage to audition for the duet with Sarah. The good girl always gets the Disney part, not to mention the guy.

"If you're finished fooling around, Gabriella and Troy, you may finally begin your audition!" Mrs. Montez yelled.

"Do you think David came with Cowboy?" Denton asked from the other side of Medda, looking around excitedly.

"Denton, just shuddup already," she snapped back.


End file.
